In Memoriam, my Montana


It has nearly been one year since the passing away of one of the great loves of my life.  About six months ago, when I had a dream of a beautiful mountain viewed from the perspective of a cloud, I realized upon waking how much grief I carried with me every day.  She was strong as a mountain to me, and she effortlessly supported me with simple, present love every day of her life.  When my life seemed to my perspective to have turned upside-down, she behaved as though everything was right-side up.  When I couldn’t find a way to love myself well, much less anyone else, she gave me love without condition.  When I felt unsafe and fearful, her kind fearlessness was a reassuring presence.  When I lost my home, she was all the home I needed to feel that I belonged somewhere.

The way this magnificent being loved was so simple and steady.  She did not ask me to be a better human being than I could manage to be at any given moment.  She taught me by example to be better than I had been being; I often found a better way of being by just watching her being a radiant being.  We humans often believe we are at the top of a hierarchy of sentient beings.  I must respectfully disagree. When I think of her, I am reminded of this beautiful poem by Hafiz, who defined this kind of love in the most poignant metaphor:  “Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth, ‘You owe me.’  Look what happens with a love like that.  It lights the Whole Sky.”

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33 Comments

Filed under Animals

33 responses to “In Memoriam, my Montana

  1. What a wonderful partner Montana was…a precious and inspiring teacher, companion and friend…and what deep and sustaining love you brought to each other.
    I have a “Montana” too…her name is…”Denali”…10 years of kindness and love, another precious guide….

  2. Death is so final the loss of our loved one two or four-legged is indeed painful. What a blessing to have loved and shared your life with this beautiful companion. Thank you for sharing 🙂

  3. kim

    aw that was so heartfelt make look at my little sam and know he is the same for me.

  4. Katrina

    A lovely tribute to an amazing friend

  5. What a beautiful girl, your Montana… what a blessing to have had such a spirit touch you with such a positive light. Dogs are truly a gift.

  6. I was very touched by this memorial to Montana. Having lost our beloved little Pomeranian Sadie just a few months ago, I understand how much you miss Montana’s reassuring and loving presence. Blessings to you!

    • Blessings to you, too, Mark! Thank you so much for your kind, gentle words. My heart goes out to you and your family — truly. It’s amazing to me how grief, joy, and gratitude can co-exist in the heart when we lose a beloved one. I imagine Sadie and Montana are having a great time romping around together in the great meadow in the Sky!!

      • You are so right about the co-existence of grief, joy, and gratitude. We find ourselves having “Sadie moments,” when we feel the loss of her, and I always feel a simultaneous sense of gratitude for the time she shared with us. She was our unconditional lover, and I won’t ever forget her! I hope she and Montana hit it off – one “big” dog to another!

  7. This is so inspiring. What a beautiful dog. I am sure she is with you every minute. I agree with you. We are not at the top. Just equal.

    • In the countless, unimaginable variety of forms of life into which universal energy is focused into matter, yes–equal. Exactly. She taught me profound respect for all forms of life. Hugs and thanks so much for visiting and commenting.

  8. There is nothing so pure as the love of a faithful dog. {{{HUGS}}} Feeling your love and wishing you peace in your heart xoxo

  9. Beautiful tribute to Montana. I can feel the connection you have and will continue to have eternally. Also very touched by the poem by Hafiz!

  10. One of my German shepherds is nearing he end of his life so I can truly feel your pain. I will keep you in my thoughts.

  11. This is such a truly beautiful post in Montana’s memory. I have lost very dear pets, so I know some of your pain. It’s such a deep and profound loss. They are our family, and our friends. My thoughts are with you xx

  12. recoverythrumylens

    How beautiful…losing a loving, loyal companion is so difficult…I relate completely…

  13. How wonderful to have known and loved this way my dear Angela. What a tower of strength and an immovable mountain dear Montana was. Her beautiful wholesomeness radiates healing to anyone who came to her, didn’t it? Hugs dear one. Her life lives on in you.

    • Such beautiful words of consolation, dear friend. And, oh, so true! It’s all about love and connection, isn’t it? Thanks so much for your kind message…

      • I was surrounded by dogs and puppies from my earliest childhood. At one time, our house became a centre for stray dogs when my brothers and I brought all these homeless canines home. Dogs are sometimes in many ways the embodiments of a perfect soul.

      • Oh my gosh, that’s wonderful!! Your parents must have been wonderfully indulgent and compassionate people, too. I see where you got it from!! I totally agree with you about dogs.

  14. I can relate… I had a Lab, named ‘Zen’ who died about 10 months ago and we have gotten two dogs since and it doesn’t replace the family member nor the feelings of loss. Zen would sit with his front legs crossed as if he was one with the world which is why I named him that…

    Art~

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